Home Life and Faith...Am I treating my husband as I would treat Christ?

It's Friday but I wish it were Monday because it finally feels like things are getting back to "normal." The girls are finally starting to feel better from all their "malfunctioning bodily symptoms" and I was able to start my day with my weekly devotions. I don't know why when things are chaotic I want to just take things into my own hands rather than leave it in God's. When I did my devotions this morning, my soul was so renewed with strength and faith. Hmmmm...

Vacation was really nice and I thank God that He led DearHubby's decision to go to Illinois, where his family lives. There were a few situations that could have been an obstacle to taking a vacation and I'm thankful that DearHubby did not get side-tracked by those obstacles; one of those obstacles was me. I saw a lot of burdens on DearHubby's shoulders and I thought that if we stayed home for his vacation time, he would be able to lessen those burdens because he would have the time to address those burdens. Our vacation in Illinois didn't lessen those burdens, but it allowed DearHubby to just physically and mentally rest and come back home "refreshed."

What I enjoyed most on vacation was the refuge we found in my in-laws' home and the country Illinois "culture". DearHubby's brother and sister came by almost every day and it was fun just sitting around "like bums", as my sister in called it, fellowshipping and enjoying one another's company. Since DearHubby's brother and sister were around, so were their kids, and our girls had so much fun getting along with their cousins. It was also nice having the opportunity to plan a date night with DearHubby and not have to worry about who would babysit the girls because Papa and Nana were right there. Lastly, DearHubby has kept in touch with his high school friends throughout the years as well as made some new ones, and it was nice to just pick up the phone and say, "Hey, can we come over and hang out?" It was a simple vacation with no pressures and that's what made the time so refreshing.

While we were on vacation, DearHubby said that for the first time he wouldn't mind permanently returning back to Illinois because he realized the ministry we would be to his family. As we thought about missing family we prayed about our own ministry where God put us now. The same ministry we could be to his family (or mine) we could be to those around us where we are now. Therefore, in our prayer, we prayed for God to reveal to us how we are to be used. Not that we haven't been a ministry to others already, but to reveal to us a more long term ministry. One particular area we prayed for better direction in is how the Lord can help us use our home because we have invested so much time and money into it. If our home will not be opened up for ministry purposes, all that work would have been done in vain.

One ministry I have been working on is my ministry to my husband. I have been reading A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George and one quote that has stuck to my head was a quote by Billy Graham's wife who said, "My husband is my career." What a convicting statement, especially as I have poured a lot of my energy towards my young children. I don't want to lose focus on my ministry towards my children, but I am realizing that how I minister to my husband is also a big ministry for my children to see as it would be teaching them how a husband and wife, the reflection of Christ and His bride, ought to relate to one another in the Lord.

I started off with something small, like buying ice cream for DearHubby. We get ice cream as a special dessert when we go out to eat, but a serving of ice cream at a restaurant or Ice Cream shop can cost as much as or more than a box of ice cream at the grocery store. So, I got DearHubby a box of Chocolate ice cream. That small act of buying the ice cream turned into me scooping DearHubby an ice cream cone, something I would normally have him do himself. It was a nice surprise for him that he appreciated greatly.

Our vacation in Illinois did not lighten up DearHubby's burdens here at home and as we pulled into our driveway he looked at the tall grass and said, "Whoa, it looks like my first priority this week will have to be mowing." When DearHubby is stressed with burdens like this, I am also stressed because we never get to see him. DearHubby just has more on his plate than there is time to take care of what's on his plate. It's an accumelation of little things, but when there's little time, little things become big things, and our family usually sacrifices time with DearHubby so that he can work. So, I offered to mow the lawn for him. As a result of me mowing the lawn for him, his time has been freed up to help out at the church this Saturday on a playground memorial. My whole motive behind mowing the lawn for DearHubby was to have more time with him, but it didn't work out that way and I was really disappointed. However, as we saw how his time was freed up to be a part of this playground ministry, we decided that God's reason for me mowing the lawn was just for that. In addition, when DearHubby saw how hard I was working to spend time with him, he stopped his work to give me time with him.

Another extra chore the girls and I did for DearHubby was clean our Ford Focus Wagon. It's the car that the girls and I use daily and DearHubby hardly uses it, but he has commented numerous times about how dirty the car is. DearHubby is the one who usually cleans our cars and so the girls and I took the time to wash the car so that there would be one less thing on DearHubby's To Do list.

The next practical advice from Mrs. George that I would like to implement is to respond to DearHubby positively. It's easy to do things for DearHubby because I can still do things grudgingly. It's harder to do things for DearHubby with a joyful and positive attitude.

We have had some issues with our health insurance's FSA account and the VISA card that comes along with that has been stopped for several weeks now. I gathered up all the paperwork for DearHubby to address the issue with our health insurance, but he just hasn't had time to address it. Last night he finally told me that he just does not have the time and that if I took care of it, that would be a huge help to him. I grew angry inside because the discrepancy is between DearHubby's allergist and the insurance company and DearHubby knows the situation much better than I do. I gave DearHubby such a hard time about it, trying to think of a good excuse of why he should address the issue over me. When he finally said that it would be a huge help to him, that's when I resigned my will and still grudgingly agreed to do it. This example shows how much work is still needed in my heart to respond to DearHubby with a joyful and positive attitude. Mrs. George asks this one question, "Am I treating my husband as I would treat Christ?" Convicting, isn't it?

So, that's our current Home Life and how the Lord's been working in our hearts. Praise God for His faithfulness :)

Notes...A Woman After God's Own Heart

CHAPTER 6 (2nd half of chapter)

Scriptures used in chapter:
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:24, NKJV)

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. (1 Peter 3:5-6, NKJV)

And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” (Luke 17:5, NKJV)

...that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2:4-5, NKJV)

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33, NKJV)

Key points:
- You are on assignment from God to follow you husband's leadership

Something to Think About

- What is the scope of your submission to your husband?

- On what matters, decisions, and situations are we to submit?

- SUBMIT IN EVERYTHING to follow and honor your husband

A Life of Faith

- The main reason why we wives hesitate to follow our husband's leadership is fear. We are afraid of what will happen if our husbands do things their way instead of our way. FAITH IS THE OPPOSITE OF FEAR.

- By faith you believe God works in your life directly through our husband

- By faith you trust that God knows your husband's decisions and the end results of those decisions and that God redeems and guides those decisions

The Root...The Motive for Submission

- God has commanded submissions and given you the faith in Him to be able to obey His Word - and He is honored when you do

- Your respect and deference to your husband testifies to all who are watching that God's Word and His way are right

Yes, But How?

- Dedicate your heart to honoring your husband - make up your mind to practice honoring your husband

- Remember to respect - A good way to measure our respect for our husbands is to answer the question, Am I treating my husband as I would treat Christ? Do you ask your husband to do something or do you tell him? Do you stop, look, and listen to him when he's talking? Do you speak about him with respect to your children, your parents, and others?

- Respond to your husband's words and actions positively

...- Phase One: Say nothing! - You don't always have to express your opinions - especially after your husband made a decision.

...- Phase Two: Respond with a single positive word - like "SURE". Once you've begun to respond positively to the small things, you'll quickly find it becoming easier and even natural to respond positively to larger and larger issues

- Ask of each word, act, and attitude, "Am I bending or bucking?"

Home Life...

For the past (almost) 10 years, DearHubby and I have made it a point to go to bed at the same time. If he's needed to stay up, I stay up and wait for him and vice versa. Then, right before bedtime we read our daily Scripture reading and pray together and then it's off to sleep. Therefore, I am so thankful to DearHubby for allowing me to stay up past him, after our devotion time, these past couple of nights just to finish my house work. I've been having a difficult time getting back into the swing of things. Well, it was already hard maintaining a regular routine before vacation, and so when you're behind in extra tasks, it just makes it all the more a challenge to get back to a normal routine after vacation.

In addition, the 2 littlests ones have been under the weather. DearDaughter2 broke out with a skin rash yesterday all over her body and DearDaughter3 has had a fever all day long. I took them to the doctor today, another break in routine, to get them checked out. DearDaughter2 was given Benadryl and a steroid itch cream. I was told to monitor DearDaughter3. If her fever doesn't break with Tylenol by tomorrow then I am to return for a UTI test. I'm not looking forward to that as they would need to take the sample through a cathedar. So, I am praying that the fever breaks.

It was an eye opener to me when I didn't have 5 other people in the room with me to keep an eye on the girls. It's no wonder being on vacation was so much easier, I had 10 eyes on them when we were on vacation versus my only 2 here at home.

Well, I'm off to bed. I hope things will start to settle back to "normal" soon.

Home Life...eVites and Invites

It's 1:40am and I'm having trouble sleeping. When DearHubby came home from work today, one of the first things he said was, "I miss the slow pace of vacation in Illinois." He was right! Vacation is so nice because you can just get away from the hustle and bustle of things; you don't have to worry about anything except resting. I'm having trouble sleeping because I'm feeling anxious about getting back into the swing of things. I want vacation to last.

When I checked, we had 3 eVites in our Inbox and 1 invitation in our (snail) mailbox. We missed 1 of the events because we were on vacation. We are going to miss another event because it is for tomorrow and it is for couples only; a dinner and game night. It's too late for us to find a last minute babysitter. The 3rd eVite is for a ladies night out with no hubbies or kiddos at the beach for this Sunday. I don't know what to do, whether to accept or decline, because I am nursing. The last invitation is for a graduation party.

Then, there are 2 weddings we are invited to this summer. The first wedding we will need to decline because we are having DearDaughter2's 2nd birthday party on the same day. The second wedding is of DearHubby's good buddy from high school. It is on the weekend that we celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

Lastly, a very DearFriend from college just had her first baby on July 1st. He is being baptized this Sunday. They live 1,300 miles from us.

Of all the events, there are 3 that my heart is truly set on. The first is celebrating our 10th year anniversary the way we want to on our anniversary weekend. The second is celebrating DearDaughter2's 2nd birthday party. The third is driving 1,300 miles to see my very DearFriend's newborn be baptized.

So, it bothers me that there are conflicting events on each of those dates and we will need to decline some invitations. Most likely, we will plan a trip to South Carolina to attend DearHubby's buddy's wedding, so we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary at a wedding. We will definitely be celebrating DearDaughter2's birthday, but will be declining 2 other events for that day. Lastly, driving 1,300 miles or 21+ hours, right after a long trip seems unlikely, which leaves me open for the ladies night out, an event I'm not too excited about. DearHubby is encouraging me to go because I hardly go out on any sort of ladies' night out.

I'm not too excited about this ladies' night out because I hardly know any of the women and I would need to take DearDaughter3 with me since I am nursing. They are leaving straight after church and won't be back until after dinner. Even if I have milk in the freezer, that is a long span of time not to nurse; it would be about 20 hours. My sister went to a wedding once and didn't nurse for that span of time. Regardless of how often she put her baby to the breast afterwards, her milk production went down and she had to completely switch to formula. If I take DearDaughter3 with me I would be focusing much of my time tending to her needs and will have very little opportunity to get to know the ladies or have much fun. If I don't take DearDaughter3 with me I would risk my milk production and I don't want to do that.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Some times I am jealous that there are mommies and other parents who have many opportunities to take a break from their children to do things they like to do, but many times I feel like there's too many events requiring mommies or parents to be away from their children and there's great zeal from mommies or parents to be away from their children. It's a struggle enough to find contentment when each day is a challenge with 3 little ones. These events that say "no kids allowed" reinforces the idea that children are a burden instead of encouraging me to persevere in the work that God has called us to with our children and to find that call a joy and a privilege. My idea of a nice ladies' night out is spending time with a close friend, sharing our struggles as a mommy, commiserating, encouraging one another in Scripture to persevere, and all this over a nice cup of coffee or hot tea at a cafe.

A ladies' night at the beach with ladies I don't know doesn't sound too appealing to me, especially if I also bring DearDaughter3, but I don't know that I should decline the invite. Well, I'm afraid to decline because we've declined so many invites already and I don't want our inviters to think that we don't like them.

Anyway, I thought jotting down these thoughts that were bothering me would help me feel sleepy, but I don't. Hmmm...

Notes...A Woman After God's Own Heart

CHAPTER 6 (1st half of chapter)

Scriptures used in chapter:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22, NKJV)

...submitting to one another in the fear of God. (Ephesians 5:21, NKJV)

...that you also submit to such, and to everyone who works and labors with us. (1 Corinthians 16:16, NKJV)

Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. (Hebrews 13:17, NKJV)

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7, NKJV)

Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men— (1 Peter 2:13-15, NKJV)

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. (1 Peter 2:18, NKJV)

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “ God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5, NKJV)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18, NKJV)

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3, NKJV)

She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26, NKJV)

Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. (1 Timothy 2:11, NKJV)

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,... (1 Peter 3:1, NKJV)

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... (Collosians 3:23, NKJV)

Key points:
- You are on assignment from God to follow you husband's leadership

"Be Submissive One to Another"

- The Christian lifestyle - for men as well as women - is one of submission; God's desire for us is to honor, serve, and subject ourselves to one another

- When it comes to marriage, God arranged for the sake of order that the husband lead and the wife follow

- "Head of the house" does not mean that your husband barks out orders, throws his weight around, and demand submission for his wife; it simply means that he is the one finally responsible...In the end, the husband is accountable to God for his leadership decisions, and you are accountable to God for how we follow that leadership

The Privilege of Choice

- Submission is a wife's choice...You must decide to choose to defer to your husband and follow his leadership

- Are you giving the gift of headship?

An Important Distinction

- The "who" of submission for a wife is clear; "Wives, submit to your own husbands," not to other people we admire and respect

- The one exception to following your husband's advice is if he asks you to violate some teaching from God's Word, asks you to do something illegal or immoral - Go to a trusted pastor or counselor if he does

Looking Up Helps

- Look up and think about following the Lord because it has nothing to do with your husband but it has everything to do with the Lord

Snippet from the Day

Wow, DearDaughter3 slept for 10 hours last night and I didn't reap the benefits of it, only getting about 4 hours straight myself :(

Well, we own a Ford ZX2, a sporty Escort, and on his way home from Illinois, DearHubby decided to drive with some ZX2 internet forum buddies to Columbus, Ohio for a ZX2 meet. On the way to the meet, about 50 miles from their destination, DearHubby lost his wallet at a McDonald's, around 4pm. As soon as he discovered this loss he immediately called me and we prayed. He found the number of the McDonald’s and miraculously someone turned in the wallet. There was another ZX2er who was lagging behind and DearHubby contacted him to stop by the McDonald’s to pick up the wallet. This fellow got stuck in traffic and DearHubby didn’t get his wallet back until 10pm. Nothing was missing!

It was too late for DearHubby to drive back to Jersey so he decided to stay as he was offered a free room earlier. However, the fellow who offered the room went to enjoy the ZX2 activities, drag racing, and didn’t return until after midnight. By this time, the room was committed to someone else. To make a long story short, DearHubby ultimately found another family who offered the couch and floor in their room. They didn’t get back to the motel until past 2am. In the meanwhile, I, Gen, sat at home, waiting, wondering, and worrying about what was going on, especially since DearDaughter1 was with DearHubby. What a lesson in waiting and I didn’t do a very good job at it. Well, I’m not sure what time DearHubby and DearDaughter1 were planning to leave Ohio. I pray for traveling mercies as this has been such a rough trip for all.

Faith...Being Stiff-Necked

I bought a sling for the first time in my Motherhood career and my sister gave me one of the more expensive carriers on the market to help make getting around with 3 children easier. I was really enjoying the freedom the sling and carrier was giving me. I could carry our new little one in the carrier and have one hand free for DearDaughter1 and the other hand free for DearDaughter2. Both the sling and the carrier are good things.

Unfortunately, I found out that you CAN have too much of a good thing. I overused both the sling and the carrier. I was using them to run errands, like grocery shopping, for visits, for fruit picking, for going out to eat, for going to church, etc...Any time I needed my hands free and DearDaughter3 needed some comforting, I would put on my sling or carrier and comfort her in them.

Well, with the overuse of these items, I actually injured my neck to what my chiropractor called a "Whiplash type injury." "From a carrier?!" I exclaimed. Apparently, the weight on my shoulders put a lot of strain on my neck muscles which caused my muscle spasms. I started to feel this kink in my neck at the beginning of last week and thought it was the way I was sleeping. It would go away during the day and I didn't think it was the carrier or the sling. Then, as I was chatting with a friend last Wednesday afternoon, I expressed that I was feeling very achy. This past Saturday, I woke up and could not move my neck or head at all. You don't realize the muscles you use in your neck until you can't use them. Although the rest of my body was fine, I couldn't use my body at all because any type of movement would hurt. It was actually worse than any lower back pain I've ever had!!! There was NO comfortable position. I couldn't even open my mouth to eat or chew :( A single movement would shoot this sharp pain up my neck and spread out into my head, even my ears...Ouch! Being stiff-necked made me immobile.

After this experience I realized why God uses rebellion or a hardenend heart and the term stiff-necked hand in hand. A stiff-necked person is unable to move. When a person resists the Holy Sprit he becomes stiff necked or becomes a person with a hardened heart unable to move or obey God. God warns us that if you remain stiff-necked you will suddenly be destroyed (Proverbs 29:1) because a stiff-necked person does not listen or pay attention to God. One who is stiff-necked will do evil.

All of us fight against sin and even fall into sin, this weight and burden on our shoulders. When we do not know Christ Jesus as our Savior or when we do not guard our hearts in Christ Jesus as our Savior, sin will put a kink in our relationship with God. Let us not remain stiff-necked! Our God is a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Let us listen and respond to the Holy Spirit, trusting in His grace, compassion, and forgiveness, and He will loosen up that kink to keep us mobile in this race to glory!

Notes...A Woman After God's Own Heart

CHAPTER 5

Scriptures used in chapter:
And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV)

...just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28, NKJV)

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. (Philippians 2:3, NKJV)

Key points:
Called to Serve

- A woman after God's own heart is a woman who carefully cultivates a servant spirit who desires to follow in the steps of Jesus which calls for lifelong attention to the heart attitude of serving

- For a married woman, that attitude and service starts at home and more specifically with your husband, not running parallel in competition to him, but behind him, encouraging him

- You are on assignment from God to help your husband; your husband is your career

- This mind-set, especially towards your husband, to esteem him as better than yourself and commit yourself to service, this servant spirit, will help you be more like Christ

Yes, But How?
1. Make a commitment to help your husband

- Let your words reflect YOUR DECISION to help your husband, to be a team with him, and to make helping him the priority focus of your every day

2. Focus on your husband

- Focus on his tasks, his goals, his responsibilities

- Say, "You first!" and ask every day

"What can I do for you today?"

"What can I do to help you make better use of your time today?"

- You want your husband to know that he is your highest human priority. You want to ease his life by helping him.

- Whether you are married or not, serving the people in your life is part of God's will for you. It pleases Him when you follow His will, benefits the lives of those you serve, and shows Christ to the world.
3. Ask of your actions, Will this help or hinder my husband?

Snippet from the Day

DearHubby and DearDaughter1 just left for Illinois to attend Grandma Smith's (DearHubby's Grandma) funeral while I and the 2 other girls are staying back in New Jersey. Hoping for safety and mercy for us all.

Housekeeping...10 Unexpected Natural Cleaners

10 Unexpected Natural Cleaners
By Nicole SforzaAround-the-house staples that moonlight as dirt-busting superstars.
original article found on MSN Lifestyle

White Bread
Use white bread to: Dust an oil painting. Gently dab a slice of white bread over the surface to pick up dirt and grime.

Ketchup
Use ketchup to: Remove tarnish from copper and brass cookware. Squeeze ketchup onto a cloth and rub it on pots and pans. They should go back to their coppery color in minutes. Rinse with warm water and dry with a towel.

Oatmeal
Use it to: Scrub very dirty hands. Make a thick paste of oatmeal and water; rinse well.

Rice
Use it to: Clean the inside of a vase or a thin-necked bottle. Fill three quarters of the vessel with warm water and add a tablespoon of uncooked rice. Cup your hand over the opening, shake vigorously, and rinse.

Tea
Use it to: Scour rusty garden tools. Brew a few pots of strong black tea. When cool, pour into a bucket. Soak the tools for a few hours. Wipe each one with a cloth. (Wear rubber gloves or your hands will be stained.)

Glycerin
Use it to: Remove dried wax drippings from candlesticks. Peel off as much wax as possible, then moisten a cotton ball with glycerin and rub until clean.

Club Soda and
Use club soda to: Shine up a scuffed stainless-steel sink. Buff with a cloth dampened with club soda, then wipe dry with another clean cloth.

Hydrogen Peroxide
Use hydrogen peroxide to: Disinfect a keyboard. Dip a cotton swab in hydrogen peroxide to get into those nooks and crannies.

Cornstarch
Use it to: Clean grease spills on carpets. Pour cornstarch onto spots and let sit for 15 to 30 minutes before vacuuming.

Rubbing Alcohol
Use it to: Erase permanent-marker stains from finished wood floors or solid-surface countertops. Pour rubbing alcohol onto a cotton ball and apply.